The Effect of Fatherlessness on Women
FOR FATHER’S DAY, WE REPRISE AN ARTICLE ABOUT FATHERS & DAUGHTERS
Feminism is a self-perpetuating form of compensation for father-loss.
Its goal is to “overthrow the patriarchy.”
The word originates in the Latin “pater” or father.
By Henry Makow Ph.D.
Feminism Deprives Girls of Father’s Love
Slightly revised from June 18, 2005
Most girls already receive too little love from their fathers, and grow up to be insecure, distrustful of men and frigid, says Victoria Secunda, author of Women and their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man in Your Life (1992). The result is failed marriages, broken families and a vicious circle of fatherlessness.
Secunda’s conclusions are based on interviews with 150 daughters, 75 fathers, and dozens of authorities. Because she is not an academic, Ms. Secunda has written an honest and useful book. Because she is a feminist, it slipped through the feminist censors and was well received. This is ironic because feminism is largely responsible for the symptoms she describes.
FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS
Girls model their male romantic ideal on their relationship with their father, according to Secunda. One woman said: “When I grow up, will I ever find a man as sweet and good and kind as my daddy.” (p.105)
Women’s attachments are “mirror images” of how they related to their fathers. “They instinctively repeat what they experienced in childhood, even if it was the worst thing in the world. It’s what they know. They are trying to have one more shot at childhood, one more chance to rewrite their emotional histories.” (224)
A three-year-old girl wants to marry Daddy and have mother out of the way. A good father helps her to understand that he is spoken for and prepares her for another man. But if he leaves, her idealization of her father can be frozen in time. (197)
Girls must have their father’s approval and love. This is like sun and water to a flower. One woman said: “Whenever I’d worry about ever getting a boyfriend, he’d laugh and say, ‘Are you kidding? I’ll have to beat them off with a stick. You’ll see.’ His whole approach was to make me feel good about myself…. I think if fathers do nothing else, that’s a great thing.” (221)
Another woman said: “It’s my dad who made me believe in myself. I remember my mom once telling me, ‘Don’t act too smart; boys won’t like you.” To which my father responded, ‘Hogwash! She’ll get smarter boys.” (225)
These women naturally feel positively about themselves and are able to find partners who mirror the devoted father of their childhood.
If a woman does not have a dependable nurturing father, due to his arrested development or divorce, she may believe she is essentially unlovable and actually seek out men who deny her needs or reject her. (224)
These women may become sexually active prematurely. They may fear intimacy. The common theme is “an inability to trust, to believe that a man won’t go away.”
Secunda says that women who have trouble achieving orgasm mostly had fathers who were emotionally or physically absent during their childhood. (31) Understandably, a woman needs to trust in order to “let go.” (See also my “The Power of Sexual Surrender.”)
Women with absent fathers feel rootless and aren’t sure they belong anywhere. They close up emotionally and tend to have rocky relationships. “Most of these daughters tended to test the men in their lives, starting fights, finding flaws, expecting to be abandoned, or looking for excuses to walk out themselves.” (214)
Another pattern is anxiety about being financially dependent on men. This is where feminism comes in. “It seems that the less masculine attention they got in childhood, the more they seem to identify with and imitate men, keeping their feelings hidden, preferring casual teasing and unemotional banter to the intimacies of feminine soul bearing.” (212)
Denied their fathers, women become more masculine. This is a way of bringing daddy back. They become the thing they are missing. (212)
In other words, a good father affirms his daughter’s innate femininity. But if he is absent, she compensates by becoming masculine. This of course undermines her future relationships with men.
FEMINISTS COMPENSATE BY BECOMING MASCULINE
Many leaders of second-wave feminism are themselves products of broken homes. “My father didn’t ever exist as a presence in my life…. He didn’t care about us,” said Marilyn French, author of The War Against Women.
“My father was living in California,” said Gloria Steinem. “He didn’t ring up but I would get letters from him and saw him maybe once or twice a year.”
Germaine Greer: “My father had decided pretty early on that life at home was pretty unbearable…it gave my mother an opportunity to tyrannize the children and enlist their aid to disenfranchise my father completely.” (From Susan Mitchell. Icons, Saints and Divas: Intimate Conversations with Women who Changed the World, New York: Harper Collins, 1997.)
Feminism is a self-perpetuating form of compensating for father-loss. Its goal is to “overthrow the patriarchy.” The word originates in the Latin “pater” or father.
Feminism, like Communism, originates in the Illuminist endeavour to overthrow God and the natural order and impose on mankind an all-encompassing dictatorship of the rich. Feminism is patterned on spurious concept of class warfare Illuminati Jews used to subvert society. Similarly, men “oppress” women by virtue of their role as wife and mother. This is nonsense. Both sex roles involve sacrifice. Men have supported and defended families with their lives for centuries.
Feminism reflects the Illuminist (Masonic Jewish/Communist) assumption that man defines reality, not God and nature. It claims that sex roles are socially rather than biologically based. It coerces women to abandon the feminine role and usurp the male one instead, making men redundant. The goal is to emasculate males making them politically impotent.
Love, especially for a woman, is an act of faith. Feminism traumatizes young women with tales of how a woman is violently raped every 10 seconds. It teaches that all injustice is due to the “inequality” of the sexes and therefore heterosexuality itself must be eliminated.
Many feminists are lesbian and promote homosexuality. They have passed laws that deprive men of their children and property. Courts and police routinely discriminate against men. (See my “Dawn of the Feminist Police State” and “NWO Tyranny: Men are Being Kicked in the Teeth” )
Second-wave feminism is the greatest enemy of femininity. It is part of a larger occult plan to poison the well springs of love and permanently damage the human spiritual ecology. Society suffers from a sourness due to the loss of feminine love, charm, beauty, intelligence, modesty and grace.
The innocent maiden is a relic of the past. The tramp is in. Women want to stay young but it never occurs to them that the secret formula might be innocence.
The establishment fosters and spreads the feminist hoax. I refer you to my articles “Relearning Heterosexual Love” ; “Betty Freiden: Mommie was a Commie“; and “Gloria Steinem: How the CIA Used Feminism to Destabilize Society.”
THE HAVOC WREAKED BY FEMINISM
Since the onslaught of second-wave feminism in the 1960’s the divorce rate has tripled. Almost 50% of white women who married then have divorced. In contrast, a single generation earlier (1940’s), only 14% eventually divorced.
Between 1970 and 1992, the proportion of babies born outside of marriage rose from 11% to 30%. Three times as many children (per capita) are now living in single parent households. In 2000, 22.4% of all children under 18 (16,162,000 children) lived in mother-only households. In 1960, the figure was 8%. In 2010, four in ten babies were born to unwed mothers.
A study which tracked 1000 children of divorced parents from 1976 until 1987 found that nearly half of these children had not seen their fathers in the previous year. (203) The situation would appear to foster homosexuality, as males compensate for father-loss by becoming more feminine, and females by becoming masculine, as noted above.
As far as women’s psychological development and happiness, feminism clearly is a virulent disease.
FATHER-DAUGHTER: A HETEROSEXUAL PARADIGM
These days men and women are kept in a state of arrested development, frozen in the courtship stage. If people are distracted and starved for sex, you can sell and control them.
The mass media encourages us to obsess on sex and postpone marriage and family indefinitely. When you are married, sex is readily available and less important.
Young men are taught to judge women on appearance and ignore qualities necessary for a successful marriage. The media presents beautiful women as goddesses and love as an ersatz religion. Perhaps the following will be of use to some men:
If women form their male ideal from their father, present or absent, perhaps men ought to be more “father-like” in their approach to women. Typically, women choose men who are five-years older because they seek to replicate their own family, with husband providing the physical and emotional security as their father did (or should have).
Men should seek younger women who “look up” to them. Instead of thinking in sexual terms, men should seek long-term relationships leading to marriage. This is far more rewarding than casual sex anyway.
Whether they had good fathers or not, women need husbands for children, security, nurturing and direction. Men should prepare themselves for this role. This is the standard to which men have always measured themselves, and women still measure men.
If many women are looking for a father figure, are men looking for a mother? Possibly. But this isn’t healthy. Many men want a daughter-figure, someone who will demonstrate the loyalty, trust and devotion that a girl feels for her father. A man wants to be affirmed in his authority as husband and father, not mothered like a child.
Of course a man also wants his wife to be strong, sophisticated and effective because this makes her more desirable. But she should retain those daughterly qualities that he finds so attractive. When a woman trusts her husband’s leadership, she can focus on her feminine side. It allows her to retain her youthfulness and attraction into old age.
Victoria Secunda’s book confirms that some men occasionally have sexual feelings for their daughters. She says this is normal. Men get spooked and avoid their daughters. They shouldn’t. There is a world of difference between involuntary arousal and conscious wanting, let alone acting. (16)
A father’s responsibility is to build his daughter’s trust in men, and prepare her for a worthy man. This involves confirming her in her sexual identity, as a capable attractive partner for a future husband.
In my lifetime the popular image of the father has been transformed from the dignified Robert Young in Fathers Knows Best to the bumbling fool Homer Simpson. This is not a coincidence or a “sign of the times.” It reflects a sophisticated psychological warfare program designed by the Illuminist elite to emasculate men, depopulate, degrade and destabilize society.
The people who own and run the planet do not want us to become mature beings that can perceive the true order of things. Their main instrument is the mass media, which makes trends like feminism appear spontaneous.
Women have an equal claim to dignity and self-fulfillment, and can have careers if they wish, preferably after their children are in school. But second-wave feminism is not really about equality or choice. It’s hidden agenda is to spread a lesbian developmental disorder that attacks the basic social unit, the heterosexual family.
The dysfunction created by the destruction of the family has spawned a parasitic class of feminist professionals: politicians, educators, writers, law enforcers, lawyers, counsellors and social workers. This class becomes the elite’s political constituency.
Thus mankind is kept in a state of arrested development, the retarded family in the cosmos. It’s time for men to step up to the plate. In the human life cycle, the boy becomes the father. The son carries on the vision of the father. As someone said, “you’re not a success until you have a successor!”
Males also suffer from father loss. But there is a father that we can know. I am talking about God. We are made in God’s image and His image is in our soul. Man in Latin, “vir”, has the same root as virtue. It’s as simple as always doing the right thing.
In this context, the right thing for a man means creating a healthy happy family based on sound values and a wholesome vision of life.